| Too Much Compassion |
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The reattachment of severed limbs such as
fingers is becoming a fairly common
medical procedure experiencing more
success as time goes by. When some
hospitals first began attempting those
procedures with some regularity, I was still
a patrol officer.
fingers is becoming a fairly common
medical procedure experiencing more
success as time goes by. When some
hospitals first began attempting those
procedures with some regularity, I was still
a patrol officer.
on the sidewalk grasping his left hand with his right hand. He was screaming and
bleeding, and his sawed-off single barrel 12 gauge shotgun was laying on the sidewalk
nearby.
From the physical evidence and witnesses, it didn't take long to learn the whole story.
In fact, in an area where witnesses were often scarce, there were no lack of witnesses
eager to describe the details of this event.
It turned out that the victim was an area drug dealer, and he was involved in a verbal
argument with a rival drug dealer. As the argument escalated, our victim tried to
remove his sawed-off shotgun which he had concealed inside his pants with the barrel
running down the inside of his right leg. He immediately experienced difficultly in
freeing the gun from his pants, so he reached down with his left hand and grabbed the
end of the barrel to push up on the gun.
Well, you know what happened next. His stress and lack of coordination resulted in
the shotgun discharging through his pants and into his hand. The blast completely
severed the index, middle, and ring fingers of his left hand.
To say that this victim was receiving no compassion from anyone would be an
understatement. If any family or friends were present, they didn't show themselves.
The officer handling the call did exactly what he was supposed to do. He called for
paramedics, collected the shotgun, identified witnesses, and responded to the hospital
to attempt an interview with the victim, before he charged him with the gun violation.
As the ambulance departed followed by the other officers, I decided to locate the
victim's fingers. It turned out that the blast had carried those fingers far and wide
from the point of impact. When three teenage girls asked me what I was looking for,
they offered to help, and we soon located all three fingers. I was amazed at how
cleanly severed the fingers appeared to be. Talk about a lack of compassion, the ring
finger still bore what appeared to be an expensive ring, and one of the girls ask if she
could have the ring. Even though I denied her request, she still graciously emptied her
paper soda cup providing me a container to collect the fingers.
I had one more stop to make. I walked to a liquor store nearby where the owner
provided me with a plastic bag filled with ice. I placed the fingers into the bag, and I
drove to the emergency room where I delivered the fingers to the hospital staff.
bleeding, and his sawed-off single barrel 12 gauge shotgun was laying on the sidewalk
nearby.
From the physical evidence and witnesses, it didn't take long to learn the whole story.
In fact, in an area where witnesses were often scarce, there were no lack of witnesses
eager to describe the details of this event.
It turned out that the victim was an area drug dealer, and he was involved in a verbal
argument with a rival drug dealer. As the argument escalated, our victim tried to
remove his sawed-off shotgun which he had concealed inside his pants with the barrel
running down the inside of his right leg. He immediately experienced difficultly in
freeing the gun from his pants, so he reached down with his left hand and grabbed the
end of the barrel to push up on the gun.
Well, you know what happened next. His stress and lack of coordination resulted in
the shotgun discharging through his pants and into his hand. The blast completely
severed the index, middle, and ring fingers of his left hand.
To say that this victim was receiving no compassion from anyone would be an
understatement. If any family or friends were present, they didn't show themselves.
The officer handling the call did exactly what he was supposed to do. He called for
paramedics, collected the shotgun, identified witnesses, and responded to the hospital
to attempt an interview with the victim, before he charged him with the gun violation.
As the ambulance departed followed by the other officers, I decided to locate the
victim's fingers. It turned out that the blast had carried those fingers far and wide
from the point of impact. When three teenage girls asked me what I was looking for,
they offered to help, and we soon located all three fingers. I was amazed at how
cleanly severed the fingers appeared to be. Talk about a lack of compassion, the ring
finger still bore what appeared to be an expensive ring, and one of the girls ask if she
could have the ring. Even though I denied her request, she still graciously emptied her
paper soda cup providing me a container to collect the fingers.
I had one more stop to make. I walked to a liquor store nearby where the owner
provided me with a plastic bag filled with ice. I placed the fingers into the bag, and I
drove to the emergency room where I delivered the fingers to the hospital staff.
To say that I showed compassion for this victim of his own stupidity would be a false assumption. I
felt absolutely no compassion toward him. I only did what I thought to be the right thing to do, and
that's where it ended. I never made any attempt to learn if the doctors had any success in
reattaching his fingers, or, if the doctors had even attempted such an operation.
felt absolutely no compassion toward him. I only did what I thought to be the right thing to do, and
that's where it ended. I never made any attempt to learn if the doctors had any success in
reattaching his fingers, or, if the doctors had even attempted such an operation.
You'll soon learn that there are many people who are not, and never will be, deserving of compassion.
With all the terrible things you're going to see, you don't want to waste any compassion on those who
don't deserve your compassion. Of course, you will frequently meet those who are deserving.
With all the terrible things you're going to see, you don't want to waste any compassion on those who
don't deserve your compassion. Of course, you will frequently meet those who are deserving.
As a young officer, I was assigned to foot patrol in a residential area that was
experiencing a rash of weekend street robberies. It was 8:00 on a Sunday morning as I
stood at the corner of a very empty intersection. As I looked around, I saw one elderly
woman walking toward me. The woman, who I would later learn was 78 years old, was
all dressed up for church which I would also soon learn.
She was a small woman and frail as you might expect a woman of her age to be. As
she walked directly toward me, she made eye contact with me, and I smiled and said,
"Good morning." I received no smile or similar greeting in return. The woman
simply stopped and looked up at me as she spoke, "Officer...I need you to come to my
house. I just killed my husband."
We walked in silence to her home which was in the same block. As we walked through
the front door, I asked, "Where is he?" The woman simply pointed to the stairway
leading to the second floor. I quickly located her husband on the stairway landing
between the first and second floor. The 80 year old was a big man, and he looked to
have been fit for his age. He was in an awkward sitting position with his back against
the wall and his head was slumped forward. The large hole in his left eye socket was
quite noticeable, and it was also noticeable that he was quite dead. There was very
little blood, and it was not immediately evident that the hole was the result of a
gunshot wound since I observed no exit wound. That question was soon resolved when
I moved his head back to get a closer look at the wound. His skull was shattered, and
it felt like I was holding a bean bag.
I turned toward the woman and asked, "Where's the gun?" She led me to the kitchen
where she pointed to a 4-10 gauge shotgun leaning against the wall. The small gauge
of the shotgun accounted for the lack of an exit wound as well as the frail woman's
ability to use the weapon. I then simply asked, "What happened?" She explained that
she had gotten ready for church when her husband denied her permission to attend
church. He was standing on the top landing blocking the stairway when she retrieved
the shotgun from the upstairs bedroom. She explained that she simply pointed the gun
and pulled the trigger. Her husband tumbled down the stairway and came to rest
where I'd observed him. She told me that after nearly sixty years of marriage, she
"just couldn't take it anymore." She went on to say that she'd intended to go to
church and tell her pastor what had happened, but, when she saw me, she realized she
should tell me what had happened.
The woman had initially admitted her guilt to me with the unsolicited statement that
she'd killed her husband. Feeling a sense of compassion toward the woman, I
purposely did not give her Miranda warnings at that time. I wanted to know more
about what had happened, but I did not want any further statements she made to me to
put her in more jeopardy. At this point, I gave the woman her Miranda warnings, and
I emphasized her right to say nothing to police officers; until, she had counsel from an
attorney. I then ask the woman if she had any family members or others she'd like to
have contacted. Following her wishes, I telephoned her granddaughter and explained
the circumstances. I also promised to stop by her church and explain to her pastor why
she was absent from church.
As we waited for arrival of the Homicide detectives, I explained to her that the
detectives would be very nice to her, but she should not talk to them about what had
happened; until, her granddaughter could arrange for the arrival of her attorney.
Even though she indicated her understanding of my directions, I knew the detectives
would have her talking in no time...she had the innocence of a child.
experiencing a rash of weekend street robberies. It was 8:00 on a Sunday morning as I
stood at the corner of a very empty intersection. As I looked around, I saw one elderly
woman walking toward me. The woman, who I would later learn was 78 years old, was
all dressed up for church which I would also soon learn.
She was a small woman and frail as you might expect a woman of her age to be. As
she walked directly toward me, she made eye contact with me, and I smiled and said,
"Good morning." I received no smile or similar greeting in return. The woman
simply stopped and looked up at me as she spoke, "Officer...I need you to come to my
house. I just killed my husband."
We walked in silence to her home which was in the same block. As we walked through
the front door, I asked, "Where is he?" The woman simply pointed to the stairway
leading to the second floor. I quickly located her husband on the stairway landing
between the first and second floor. The 80 year old was a big man, and he looked to
have been fit for his age. He was in an awkward sitting position with his back against
the wall and his head was slumped forward. The large hole in his left eye socket was
quite noticeable, and it was also noticeable that he was quite dead. There was very
little blood, and it was not immediately evident that the hole was the result of a
gunshot wound since I observed no exit wound. That question was soon resolved when
I moved his head back to get a closer look at the wound. His skull was shattered, and
it felt like I was holding a bean bag.
I turned toward the woman and asked, "Where's the gun?" She led me to the kitchen
where she pointed to a 4-10 gauge shotgun leaning against the wall. The small gauge
of the shotgun accounted for the lack of an exit wound as well as the frail woman's
ability to use the weapon. I then simply asked, "What happened?" She explained that
she had gotten ready for church when her husband denied her permission to attend
church. He was standing on the top landing blocking the stairway when she retrieved
the shotgun from the upstairs bedroom. She explained that she simply pointed the gun
and pulled the trigger. Her husband tumbled down the stairway and came to rest
where I'd observed him. She told me that after nearly sixty years of marriage, she
"just couldn't take it anymore." She went on to say that she'd intended to go to
church and tell her pastor what had happened, but, when she saw me, she realized she
should tell me what had happened.
The woman had initially admitted her guilt to me with the unsolicited statement that
she'd killed her husband. Feeling a sense of compassion toward the woman, I
purposely did not give her Miranda warnings at that time. I wanted to know more
about what had happened, but I did not want any further statements she made to me to
put her in more jeopardy. At this point, I gave the woman her Miranda warnings, and
I emphasized her right to say nothing to police officers; until, she had counsel from an
attorney. I then ask the woman if she had any family members or others she'd like to
have contacted. Following her wishes, I telephoned her granddaughter and explained
the circumstances. I also promised to stop by her church and explain to her pastor why
she was absent from church.
As we waited for arrival of the Homicide detectives, I explained to her that the
detectives would be very nice to her, but she should not talk to them about what had
happened; until, her granddaughter could arrange for the arrival of her attorney.
Even though she indicated her understanding of my directions, I knew the detectives
would have her talking in no time...she had the innocence of a child.
As your police career progresses, you never want to lose your capacity to show compassion; however,
you don't want to go the other way either. When you watch the television cop shows, you often see
police officers agonizing over the tragedies of others. Of course, you'll also see the so called
documentaries and breaking news stories where real cops are gushing with hand wringing emotional
displays of compassion. One could begin to wonder which is imitating what.
As a police officer, you're the person who's suppose to keep your head when those around you are
losing theirs. If you let your compassion go too far, you'll quickly run out of energy and time to
fulfill unrealistic commitments to others to whom those commitments should have never been made.
You need to understand that you'll have many ways to aid others in time of tragedy that are
completely within your powers as a police officer without personalizing that aid.
Why do you think psychiatrists and psychologists treat each other. It's because, unlike you, they
have fewer meaningful ways of influencing or controlling the behavior of others. When you let your
compassion take you beyond what you can realistically do, and into that murky world of psychology,
you're going to suffer the same stress of frustration from overcommitment and failure.
you don't want to go the other way either. When you watch the television cop shows, you often see
police officers agonizing over the tragedies of others. Of course, you'll also see the so called
documentaries and breaking news stories where real cops are gushing with hand wringing emotional
displays of compassion. One could begin to wonder which is imitating what.
As a police officer, you're the person who's suppose to keep your head when those around you are
losing theirs. If you let your compassion go too far, you'll quickly run out of energy and time to
fulfill unrealistic commitments to others to whom those commitments should have never been made.
You need to understand that you'll have many ways to aid others in time of tragedy that are
completely within your powers as a police officer without personalizing that aid.
Why do you think psychiatrists and psychologists treat each other. It's because, unlike you, they
have fewer meaningful ways of influencing or controlling the behavior of others. When you let your
compassion take you beyond what you can realistically do, and into that murky world of psychology,
you're going to suffer the same stress of frustration from overcommitment and failure.
A friend of mine was barely past brand new when he got his first assignment to make a
death notification. He had to notify a mother that her son had been murdered in
another state. After he got all the information from the Communications Division, he
rehearsed several versions of what he might say as he drove to the woman's residence.
He knocked on the door, and a woman answered. He verified that the woman was the
woman he was seeking. Forgetting most of what he'd rehearsed, he simply came to
the point as best as he could, "I'm sorry to have to tell you that your son, Marcus, died
this morning in South Carolina." Actually, he did quite well. He didn't use words like
murdered, shot to death, killed, etc. He braced himself for an emotional response
from the woman.
The woman paused for a few seconds with a puzzled expression on her face. "Which
one is that," she asked? The officer got his response, but one for which he was totally
unprepared. As it turned out, the woman had ten children, most of whom had left her
care at young ages for various reasons, and she was simply having a problem putting
the name with the face. She displayed no emotion as the officer ended his non-event
by giving her all the information he had regarding the death of her son.
death notification. He had to notify a mother that her son had been murdered in
another state. After he got all the information from the Communications Division, he
rehearsed several versions of what he might say as he drove to the woman's residence.
He knocked on the door, and a woman answered. He verified that the woman was the
woman he was seeking. Forgetting most of what he'd rehearsed, he simply came to
the point as best as he could, "I'm sorry to have to tell you that your son, Marcus, died
this morning in South Carolina." Actually, he did quite well. He didn't use words like
murdered, shot to death, killed, etc. He braced himself for an emotional response
from the woman.
The woman paused for a few seconds with a puzzled expression on her face. "Which
one is that," she asked? The officer got his response, but one for which he was totally
unprepared. As it turned out, the woman had ten children, most of whom had left her
care at young ages for various reasons, and she was simply having a problem putting
the name with the face. She displayed no emotion as the officer ended his non-event
by giving her all the information he had regarding the death of her son.
The most important thing for you to remember is to never do anyone harm through insensitivity.
Even when people are undeserving of any display of compassion from you, it won't kill you to show a
little anyway. When you encounter those who are truly deserving of your compassion, just don't let
yourself get carried away.
Even when people are undeserving of any display of compassion from you, it won't kill you to show a
little anyway. When you encounter those who are truly deserving of your compassion, just don't let
yourself get carried away.
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| Copyright © 2006 - 2008 - Barry M. Baker - CareerPoliceOfficer.com |
| Disclaimer |
| CareerPoliceOfficer.com is not responsible for the contents of any linked site or any link contained in a linked site, or any changes or updates to such sites. Links are provided only as a convenience, and the inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by this site. |
Whatever expectations you have concerning your police
career, you will, with absolute certainty, frequently
witness real human tragedies. You may, or may not,
have some control over your level of involvement in
those tragedies.
It's important that you possess compassion and display
sensitivity for tragedies experienced by others. However,
you have to consider the human capacity for inflicting
harm, and the unbelievable number of ways that harm
can be inflicted.
Think about this...in the space of one week, you could
handle two separate homicides, a sexual child abuse, a
dozen or so domestic violence calls, a couple of street
robberies, and any number of other things. If you end up
working in a high crime area of a large city or
metropolitan area, experiencing this high level of activity
is not unusual, so you'll be interacting with a lot of people
who are experiencing extremely stressful situations.
Some police officers will show little to no compassion
toward victims of crime, or they may be very particular in
choosing those to whom they display some level of
compassion.
On one occasion I responded, with other officers, to a
report of gunfire. We found a young man rolling around
career, you will, with absolute certainty, frequently
witness real human tragedies. You may, or may not,
have some control over your level of involvement in
those tragedies.
It's important that you possess compassion and display
sensitivity for tragedies experienced by others. However,
you have to consider the human capacity for inflicting
harm, and the unbelievable number of ways that harm
can be inflicted.
Think about this...in the space of one week, you could
handle two separate homicides, a sexual child abuse, a
dozen or so domestic violence calls, a couple of street
robberies, and any number of other things. If you end up
working in a high crime area of a large city or
metropolitan area, experiencing this high level of activity
is not unusual, so you'll be interacting with a lot of people
who are experiencing extremely stressful situations.
Some police officers will show little to no compassion
toward victims of crime, or they may be very particular in
choosing those to whom they display some level of
compassion.
On one occasion I responded, with other officers, to a
report of gunfire. We found a young man rolling around
“It is much easier to show
compassions to animals.
They are never wicked.”
compassions to animals.
They are never wicked.”
~ Haile Selassie